Eric Clapton, The Autobiography

I found Clapton's book on a bookshelf that stands in the same place since forever I can remember. The room is cold and I sit on a couch wearing my winter gear. "Take it," M says, when she sees me watching the book. "Read it and you can return it later." During the ride home I was thinking about why I took the book. I'll send it back by someone returning there a month or so later, but anyway. I could easily find in it my local library. However, the feeling wouldn't be the same. There's something reckless and cheeky in reading a book belonging to a library more than 800 km away.

I almost didn't finish it. At the beginning it seemed like superficial presenting of facts and events, even though I doubted all the time if I saw it correctly. Later I concluded that it was all right the way it was. I guess he wrote what he remembered, what he thought was important and what made the biggest impression. I don't know when the story sucked me in, but I'm glad it did. I like sticking to a book, I try to understand what I feel while reading, why certain things make me angry or sad or uncomfortable. Clapton writes a lot about drugs and alcohol. I've never seen it up close, so I'm not going to judge him. However I wasn't indifferent to what was happening to him. I kept thinking why he was doing it, why he was destroying himself. When he was finally clean and when he said how important being sober was to him, I was happy for him. 

I was never much of a Clapton fan. While reading his book I realised there's a lot about him I didn't know. I remember Layla, Tears in Heaven and You Look Wonderful Tonight, tacks I listened to when I was in high school. Because of this book I listened to his The Best of album a couple of days ago and seriously asked myself why I didn't listen to Clapton's music before. I liked his dedication to music, his stubbornness when he learned to play guitar and how he enjoyed playing. He writes the most about music, concerts, jam sessions, musicians he played with, all the bands he played in, his role models. He concludes with a statement that good music will always survive.

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Claptonovno Avtobiografijo sem našla na polici omare, ki od kar se spominjam stoji na istem mestu. Soba je bila hladna, na kavču ob omari sem sedela v bundi, obuta v bularje. "Vzemi jo," je rekla M, ko je videla, da sem si ogledovala knjigo. "Preberi, jo boš že vrnila." Med vožnjo domov sem razmišljala zakaj sem jo v resnici vzela. Brez težav jo bom vrnila, poslala jo bom po nekom, ki se bo v tiste kraje vrnil čez kak mesec, pa vendar. Čisto lahko bi jo našla v svoji lokalni knjižnici, vendar občutek ne bi bil isti. Nekaj lahkomiselnega in predrznega je v tem, da sedim doma in berem knjigo, ki pripada knjižnici več kot 800 km stran.

Knjige skoraj ne bi prebrala do konca. Od začetka se mi je zdelo kot površinsko nizanje dejstev, čeprav sem bila vseskozi v dvomih, če je res. Potem sem pomislila, da je čisto v redu, da je tako. Poveš kaj se spomniš in tisto, kar je nate naredilo največji vtis oz. se je kasneje izkazalo kot pomembno. Ne spomnim se kdaj me je zgodba potegnila vase, vendar sem vesela, da me je. Zadnje čase vztrajam pri knjigi, zdaj berem drugače kot prej. Rada bi vedela zakaj mi gredo nekatere stvari na živce ali me jezijo, zakaj čutim to kar čutim in poskušam ta čustva razumeti. Veliko piše o drogah, alkoholu. Nikoli tega nisem videla od blizu, zato ga ne bom sodila. Mi pa ni bilo vseeno, kar naprej sem se spraševala zakaj si to dela, zakaj se uničuje.  Ko se je očistil, ko je na koncu priznal, da je treznost zanj na prvem mestu po pomembnosti, sem bila prav vesela. 

Nikoli nisem bila poseben Claptonov fan, pravzaprav ga niti nisem prav dobro poznala, niti nisem vedela, da je igral v toliko bandih. Spomnim se nekaj komadov, ki so mi bili všeč v srednji šoli: Layla, Tears in Heaven ali You Look Wonderful Tonight. Zaradi te knjige sem pred nekaj dnevi odposlušala njegov The Best of album in se resno spraševala zakaj ga nisem poslušala že prej. Všeč mi je njegova predanost glasbi, trma kako se je kot samouk učil kitaro in ni obupal, kako je užival v igranju. Pravzaprav največ piše o glasbi, o koncertih, jam sessionih, glasbenikih, katerimi je igral, o svojih vzornikih. Zaključi z mislijo, da je glasba vsepovsod in bo, ne glede na ves balast, ki ga lahko nanjo prilepimo, vedno preživela.