The Importance Of the Process


Sometimes the process is more interesting than the final artwork. No, the process is always more interesting than the final artwork. All possible paths leading from one idea, can later give a good insight into the background of creation. It's thinking that's sexy, not the final artwork. 

I started with a green moth, Actias Luna. I don't know why I chose it. Everybody does, it's almost on every other artwork I see on the internet. Sometimes I think I shouldn't find it interesting, but I do. Luna Moth doesn't live in my neighbourhood, the chance of seeing it is nil. Anyway, it being green, made me think of Federico Garcia Lorca's Romance Sonambulo, than the green maiden waiting on a balcony, than abandoned buildings overgrown with greenery, than an abandoned greenhouse in Manfred's garden, Manfred being someone I once invented in a story. Why there's an abandoned greenhouse in his garden, he doesn't say. From there it went to the man climbing up to the high balconies, to where his green maiden is waiting for him (or so he thinks), while blood roses seep through his white shirt, and to My Oblivion by Tindersticks. Somewhere along those paths runs another idea, the one with another moon, like in Haruki Murakami's 1Q84, a greenish small moon, covered in moss. In fact, the green moon and the moth are the same thing and who knows, maybe the maiden too. Other paths are waiting but the lights along them are not on yet. There are drunken guardias civiles pounding on the door, dead maiden floating in the cistern while a moon's reflection dances on the water, ceramic tiles covering the balcony's floor and calligraphy.

Frankly, I haven't got the slightest idea where I'm going with these associations. I'm enjoying the process, scribbling and doodling in my sketchbook while ideas are still there in my mind, since I know how fleeting they can be. So far I've managed to keep my Waterbirds away. Nobody prevents me from painting this winter. So far, I'm winning, but who knows, the tides might turn. Hopefully they won't.



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Včasih je postopek bolj zanimiv od končnega dela. Pravzaprav je postopek vedno bolj zanimiv od končnega dela. Iz vseh možnih poti, ki vodijo iz ene ideje lahko kasneje vidimo labirintu podobno ozadje ustvarjanja. V resnici je razmišljanje seksi, ne končno delo.

Začela sem z zeleno veščo. Ne vem zakaj sem jo izbrala. Vsem pade v oči, videla sem jo skoraj na vsakem drugem delu, ki je objavljeno na internetu. Včasih se mi zdi, da se je zelena vešča preveč približala kiču in da me zaradi tega ne bi smela pritegniti. Prepozno, me je že. Actias Luna ne živi v mojih krajih, tako da je možnost, da bi jo videla enaka ničli. Kakor koli, njena zelena barva me je spomnila Mesečniške romance Federica Garcie Lorce, zelene mladenke, ki čaka na balkonu, potem zapuščenih hiš, preraščenih z zelenjem in zapuščenega rastlinjaka v Manfredovem vrtu. Manfred je nekdo, ki sem si ga nekoč izmislila za neko zgodbo, ki se še vedno ni končala. Zakaj je zapuščeni rastlinjak ravno v njegovem vrtu, ne pove. Od tam je moje razmišljanje preskočilo k moškemu, ki pleza k visokim balkonom, kjer ga čaka njegova zelena mladenka (tako vsaj on misli), medtem, ko mu tristo temno rdečih vrtnic mezi skozi belo srajco, in naprej k My Oblivion, komadu, ki ga izvajajo Tindersticks. Nekje vmes je še ena ideja, tista o drugi luni, kot v romanu 1Q84 Harukija Murakamija, manjši zelenkasti luni, ki izgleda kot da bi bila prekrita z mahom. Pravzaprav sta zelena luna in vešča isto, kdo ve, morda je tudi zelena mladenka isto. Čakajo še druge poti, vendar luči ob njih še niso prižgane: pijani orožniki, ki vlamljajo vrata, mrtva mladenka v vodnjaku, medtem ko odsev lune pleše na površini vode, keramične ploščice na balkonskih tleh in kaligrafija. 

V resnici mi niti najmanj ni jasno kam grem z vsemi temi asociacijami. Uživam v procesu, kracam in čečkam v skicirko, dokler so ideje še sveže, saj se zavedam kako hitro lahko izginejo. Za enkrat uspešno odganjam Vodne ptice. To zimo mi nihče ne preprečuje slikanja. Za enkrat zmagujem, vendar, kdo ve, stanje se lahko tudi obrne. Upajmo, da se ne bo. 



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