I Hate Cleaning


I haven't been painting or drawing or anything in a couple of weeks now. It feels weird. M and I are still cleaning our apartment after the painters have left. It's hard to believe how much of everything infiltrated into our lives. I cleared up my studio space in the living room. The walls are whiter than the paper. The weather is almost unbearably hot. A couple of winters ago I decided to leave books with polar themes for the summer, however I never read them. When days get short, dark and cold, I start thinking about ice and the oblivion polar landscape brings. I have Terror by Dan Simmons and The Age of Lead by Margaret Atwood on my Polar TBR, and I just might reread The Terrors of Ice and Darkness by Christopf Ransmayr. But no. Instead I'm currently reading The Castle by Franz Kafka. The absurdity of the bureaucracy is so familiar it hurts. Apparently I'll have to leave ice and darkness to the winter. Luckily I don't have the same problem with painting. The colour blue stays. 


Caspar David Friedrich, The Sea of Ice (1823–24), Kunsthalle Hamburg.

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Že več kot dva tedna ne slikam in ne rišem. Čudno je. Z M-jem še vedno pospravljava stanovanje po odhodu pleskarjev. Neverjetno koliko krame se nabere. Včeraj zvečer sem pospravila ateljejski del dnevne sobe. Stene so bolj bele kot papir, ki sem si ga pripravila. Vreme je skoraj nevzdržno vroče. Nekaj zim nazaj, sem se odločila, da bom knjige s polarno tematiko prihranila za poletje, čeprav jih potem nikoli ne berem. Ko dnevi postanejo kratki, temni in mrzli, začenjam razmišljati o ledu in pozabljenju, ki ga prinese polarna pokrajina. Na polarnem seznamu za branje imam Terror Dana Simmonsa in The Age of Lead Margaret Atwood in morda bi znova prebrala Grozote ledu in teme Christopha Ransmayrja. Ampak ne. Namesto tega berem Grad Franza Kafke. Absurdnost birokracije mi je tako znana, da boli. Očitno bom morala pustiti led in temo zimi. K sreči nimam istega problema pri slikanju. Modra ostaja.


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